What I have learned thus far...

Well, my Master mentioned I could write about what I have learned so far (in response to me asking him what he wanted to hear about). This requires quite a bit of thought actually....

I cant say I have learned how to listen and follow orders. I knew how to do that before and when I agreed to be a submissive, I knew I didnt have to worry about that part. I am very good and comfortable at following what others say - which is why I had been working on thinking for myself and following my own path instead of just blindly following someone else. In any case, I have not followed directions a few times, but not on purpose, just out of neglect. For instance, this past week has been helll with my daughter and it has literaly put me through the ringer mentally and emotionally (not to mention physically because of both of those reasons). He was kind enough not to punish me because of my insolent behaviour, rather be understanding of the situation. But in this case, I didnt do what I was told to do because of the circumstances I was in, not because I didnt want to.

I can say that I have learned/am learning about my decision making better. I feel better about things I hadnt thought of before in regards to decision on little things that dont seem as important. For instance, when I am in a conversation and someone says to do something that I think sounds right, I will try it out. Before I just figured I would going with the flow, but now I realize I am making a decision to do what they are saying. In that way, I have learned I have control of my decision if I want to. That is something I hadnt thought of in that way before. It seemed small, but I dont think it is anymore. (Dont get me wrong, it isnt huge either.)

Lets see.. other things I have learned... ummmm....

ummm....

I have learned a little bit more about controlling myself in a situation. I am a very emotional person. When little things bother me, they add up and I can explode over something that is fairly minor - and all of the angst and frustrations and such that have built up just burst out. My daughter is like that too. (the following is my opinion only) In tempering myself to be a submissive, I need to not react in an emotional way. Therefore, to be a slave to my Master, I have to find a way of keeping that bottled in until I am allowed to release it. I am not saying I am anywhere close to that - but I can see a difference a little.

More.. ummm.....

ummm...

umm....

I am not sure .. I will have to think more about this and post more later. It is something that I would like to say more on, but I just dont know what to say or what I have learned really. That sounds bad, and I hope my Master doesnt feel bad over it. I just am not sure what else there is to say on the top of my head. I will make an effort though to think about it and post more at a later day.