Have you ever gotten to the point where you recognize the attitude difference if you have to do something versus you want to do something? I have always said I dont want to NEED someone, but I do WANT someone. I know it can be a fine line, but for me there is a definite distinction. This contract started in early January. Since then I have noticed that there are things I dont like doing anymore because I now HAVE to do them.
For instance: I need to lose weight. I know my self-esteem is lacking partly because of my weight and my lackadasical way of not doing anything about it. I started eating better and having certain things I wasdoing in order to change my eating habits. I wanted to work out again also, but hadnt focused my attention on it at that time.
My Master told me that I needed to start working out 30 minutes each day; but allowed me Tuesdays off. I have been doing the very minimum to get away with - and still obeying as I should. I havent been eating very well anymore and have just been squeaking by on exercise.
Whenever I think about why I am not doing better (this is not all of the reasoning why - but a large part for now) - I realize my mindset has changed. Before I was told to do it, I was gung-ho about my healthier eating. I did it for about 3 weeks before I was given direction from my Master to start exercising. Three weeks is a good foundation for changing my habits. Now, however, its like pulling teeth to get me drinking as much water as I wanted to, or not snacking at night.
I know I just have to force myself to do the right thing. This was just an observation of mine recently.
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