Sunday, February 10, 2008

Difference between HAVE to and WANT to

Have you ever gotten to the point where you recognize the attitude difference if you have to do something versus you want to do something? I have always said I dont want to NEED someone, but I do WANT someone. I know it can be a fine line, but for me there is a definite distinction. This contract started in early January. Since then I have noticed that there are things I dont like doing anymore because I now HAVE to do them.

For instance: I need to lose weight. I know my self-esteem is lacking partly because of my weight and my lackadasical way of not doing anything about it. I started eating better and having certain things I wasdoing in order to change my eating habits. I wanted to work out again also, but hadnt focused my attention on it at that time.

My Master told me that I needed to start working out 30 minutes each day; but allowed me Tuesdays off. I have been doing the very minimum to get away with - and still obeying as I should. I havent been eating very well anymore and have just been squeaking by on exercise.

Whenever I think about why I am not doing better (this is not all of the reasoning why - but a large part for now) - I realize my mindset has changed. Before I was told to do it, I was gung-ho about my healthier eating. I did it for about 3 weeks before I was given direction from my Master to start exercising. Three weeks is a good foundation for changing my habits. Now, however, its like pulling teeth to get me drinking as much water as I wanted to, or not snacking at night.

I know I just have to force myself to do the right thing. This was just an observation of mine recently.

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