WANTED: Happiness

What makes you happy? How many of us can answer that question? Not me - not right now.

I received one of my greatest compliments when I was a teen-ager. Someone told me I was "eternally happy". They didnt mean it in a bad way, or as a compliment really, but the more I have thought about it over and over since then, I have decided it was. As a teen-ager, I was a bubbly energy spring who always smiled.

What is so different about me now?

I have 3 kids now - I know that I stopped doing what makes me happy when I gave birth to the first. I also know it has been a gradual thing, not an immediate stop of knowing what things I like. Over time though, I have just not done things I like and therefore have forgotten what kind of things I like doing, seeing, or experiencing. I chuckle when people ask if I want to go out and do something (bowling, shopping, etc). Each time, I have to do a mental check, "Do I like bowling?"

So - I am trying to find out what makes me happy! My Master says it should be him. He says I shouldnt need other things to make me happy. I understand that concept - I am his slave and therefore he should be my world. However, he has said he doesnt want me to not think on my own, or have my own ideas - wouldnt you think that applies to interests, hobbies, etc as well?

I am hoping that if I find more of what I like doing, my overall outlook will be a bit more positive than it has been in the last few years. I enjoy looking at the bright side of everything and smiling all the time. I want to get that back (yes, I guess that means rekindle my youth - but I dont feel that old!). I have to make sure, though, that my Master is ok with any activity or interest I have so that he allows me to do it.

P.S. I dont really like shopping :)