I have a friend !!

I have been slowly and surely getting more and more positive. I was thinking about why yesterday and I think I discovered that I think its because I have a friend! It takes a LOT for me to call someone a friend. I know I am a needy, emotionally unstable person and I didnt want to subject myself as a "friend" to many people.

Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friendly acquaintences, but not many friends. I think there is a distinct difference between a friend (someone you let in) and an acquaintence (someone you dont let in). I can smile and fake being happy to acquaintences. Mots of the time I do that and they dont know the difference; however, a friend would. I also feel guilty about holding back information from a friend; whereas I dont from an acquaintence (well I try to not at least).

This friend and I talk about quite a bit - nothing deep and heavy yet, but I can tell that I would feel comfortable if it ever came up. Also, something that I like a lot is - he is positive and animated! There are people I am close to that arent animated at all and that drives me nuts! How can you not look and/or sound excited when you are? How can you look/sound the same when you are average and when you are happy or glad? It is a forgeign concept to me because I am an animated person too. Anyway, my point is that it is nice to talk to someone and hear the joy in his voice when he talks about what makes him happy.

One day I will find a female to be friends with too - so that I can have someone to vent and get stuff out without having to worry about someone taking it personally, or not being able to handle it. One day.... :) :)